Kurtley Beale says he has endured some dark days, but wants to prove himself to the Australian public after fearing his wayward behaviour might have ended his Wallabies career.
The Waratahs utility back on Thursday received a call-up to join the Wallabies on their northern hemisphere tour and will be available for their last two matches against Ireland and England.
He was originally left out of the touring party which left for Europe on October 24, the day he was fined $45,000 for breaching the ARU code of conduct with an offensive text message.
A week later, he was fined another $3000 after being found guilty of breaching team protocols for a verbal altercation with members of the Wallabies management on a flight.
Beale, 25, admitted he feared his 47-Test career might have been over following the latest additions to a lengthy off-field rap sheet.
“There was some dark days and obviously that did cross my mind,” Beale said at Sydney Airport on Saturday before boarding a flight to joining the Wallabies, who play France on Sunday morning (AEDT).
“But I think throughout the whole process, there’s been a lot of belief and faith shown in me and that’s definitely helped me go through it all and I’m very thankful for that.
“I’m very lucky to have had the support around me for the last three months, that’s definitely helped me get through it.”
Asked if he viewed the call-up as his last chance with the Wallabies, Beale said: “Obviously yeah, it’s been a tough couple of weeks, but I’m just looking forward to be able to focus on these next few weeks.
“Obviously there’s some big games ahead of us and I’m very grateful for the opportunity that’s been given to me.
“I’m obviously happy to have another chance and I’m going to do all I can to add to the group and try and get some really good positive results over there.”
He said Wallabies coach Michael Cheika had told him he wanted him to knuckle down and perform well for the team.
“And obviously trying to get my head right, which I feel I have now,” Beale said.
“There’s been a few weeks where I’ve done some really good training and that’s definitely helped my head space.”
While he hasn’t played for seven weeks, Beale said three weeks of intense training with the Waratahs meant he would be ready to go if required against Ireland next weekend.
“I feel good, I feel confident, I always have been,” Beale said.
He said there was an element of redemption about his belated call-up to the squad.
“Yeah, if I get the opportunity,” Beale said.
“You always want to go out there and prove not only to everyone out there, but to yourself, that you can bounce back from what I’ve been through.
“Definitely, I feel like I have to show the Australian public what I can do out there and, if I can, show that through some good performances then hopefully I can repay that faith.”
Asked how close he was to re-signing with the ARU, Beale said: “That’s obviously around the corner, so there’s a few things that I’ll need to get settled.
“I’m just going to let my manager Isaac Moses deal with that.”